This sounds sadistic, but could happen in San Francisco. I wanna write a dark comedy about a terrible earthquake on Halloween night. For the next week, people go about rescuing others trapped while still in costume. Humiliating and hilarious! The mayor is pinned under his Rolls as “Homeless Bride in Wedding Gown Smeared with Cat-poop and Ketchup.” Though the gown is distinctly rancid by rescue day, it has thankfully kept the mayor warmer at night than last year’s fur bikini and blue body paint “Raquel Welch as Ann Magnuson’s Thawed Ancestor.”

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