X Hope In View: HIV Fiction

  • Fecal Microbiota Transplant

    Dear, Jill, It is your old Edgar, crawling out from under the floorboards to say hello. It’s been eons! How have you been? I hope you burbled, “really swell!” Do you have a husband and a baby? Such abundance! You are a dear person and it’s a pleasure to picture you with a fulfilling life. […]

  • So Grateful I Cried

    Went to see Lotus Plaza at the Rickshaw with my roommate and his handsome sobriety brother, Heath. I’d been quite ill for a year, so it was an unexpected gift to be out with friends. The night was feeling extra exciting. Abraxas and I checked out the merch table. The T-shirt graphics were not compelling, […]

  • Close Call

    Had really great talk with my new doctor. Finally feeling the compassion and commitment I’ve badly missed since my last real doc left to manage at Kaiser. New doc has lots of practical ideas and has proven himself to be not all talk, which I briefly feared. He was alarmed by the voicemail I left […]

  • Goodbye Gastritis

    It’s a huge relief to know that it was the non-addictive synthetic-opioid Tramadol that my doctor prescribed that was causing my horrendous gastritis. My God, the pain and worry went on for over a year! I even threatened suicide at the HIV mental health clinic so I could qualify for Federal Disability. I was supposed […]

  • I’m not depressed

    I’m not depressed, I’m broken-hearted, crushed by disappointment and frustration. A hard life has collapsed me down to a singularity. The truth is not as we’ve been told: Suffering does not enoble, it embitters and destroys. How many saints can there realistically be? All these people killing their children. Serial killers don’t fly here from […]

  • Eating Time

    I am dying, and it is very time-consuming. Death is literally eating up all my time. But, I will help you if I can because I love you. (Insert some Tripe here about the Ouroboros, swallowing his own tail to form an eternal ring of self -fellatio/-consumption.) –Edgar Cabot, via Edgar Cayce